I’m a nice white kid raised in the suburbs born into a nice upper-middle-class family. My dad was high up in the police department, my mom a God-fearing Christian woman that volunteers at the animal shelter and sings in the church choir. My two older sisters are smart, normal, functioning members of society.
With all that being said, how did I turn out to be a pill-popping, dope shooting, thieving drug addict? The reason for that is because addiction and alcoholism do not discriminate. My parents raised me right with all the love and attention a kid could ever want. For some reason as soon as I put a drink or a drug in me I needed more and when I stopped I couldn’t stay stopped.
I was blessed enough to become a drug addict that was in active addiction for roughly half my life. I say I was, “blessed,” because all the pain and suffering I put myself through in active addiction made me the person I am today, and I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. My addiction took me to some very 
My last use was January 4th, 2018, which makes my sobriety date January 5th, 2018. In early November 2017, a co-worker gave me a ride home from work. Me and said co-worker decided we were going to use together once we got to my apartment. When we got there, we both loaded up our rigs and did a shot of heroin. This man passed out immediately after his shot. Unfortunately, this man never woke up. I have to live with that decision I made, every day. I did not do the right thing. I probably could have saved his life if I called the ambulance or took him to the hospital. But I didn’t. And to this day I’m still not sure why. You would think that experience would scare me clean, but it didn’t. That’s how powerful this disease is. I didn’t stop until I was stopped.
Shortly after that day, I had a detective popping in on me and trying to build a case to put me away for my negligence. The day before Thanksgiving the detective noticed I had a warrant for my arrest from an unrelated possession and grand theft charge. I got arrested at work the day before Thanksgiving and got to spend the holiday in jail detoxing. I was only in jail for a week or two before the judge let me out and re-instated me to drug court. The day I got released the first thing I did was take my car to the dope man’s house so I could get high. I shot up in a parking lot and attempted to drive home and 
I was supposed to check into Drug-Court to restart the next day. But I didn’t. I got high for a couple of weeks then decided I should go check-in. When I checked in I failed the drug test and they told me I had to go to detox. This was around December 20th. Which meant I was court-ordered to detox on Christmas. As soon as I got out of the court ordered detox, surprise surprise, I got high. So far that holiday season wasn’t turning out so great. Thanksgiving in jail and Christmas in detox. I got out of detox in time to celebrate New Year’s. The way I celebrated was isolated in my room shooting heroin, nodding out.
I’ve had charges before but nothing like this. Manslaughter is a heavy charge- somebody lost their life. For the first time in ten to fifteen years, I was clean and sober for an extended period of time. I was sitting in jail with heavy charges pending against me with no access to anything that could numb my pain and quiet the thoughts in my head. That gave me the opportunity to take a look at my life and realize the destruction and turmoil I’ve been leaving in my path throughout my addiction. At 29 years old when most of my friends I grew up with were having babies and buying houses, I was sitting in jail looking at 25 years. After five months I was given a deal. They gave me three years probation and I was court-ordered to a halfway house for six months.
I had tried quitting drugs and alcohol a few times before. I had been to detoxes, rehabs, and short stints in jail a few times. Nothing thus far had worked for me. There was one thing left that I had seen work for other people, Alcoholics Anonymous. Getting out of jail I was actually excited to see what AA was all about and see if it would work for me. I just had no idea how to work this program.
Being court ordered to this halfway house was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. This halfway house (Blue Waters Recovery AKA Sober Living by Tiffany) taught me how to work a program. As soon as I got to the halfway house I walked to a meeting in the rain, raised my hand at the end of the meeting and said, “I just got out of jail, I want to work this program, but I have no idea how.” The chairperson wrote his phone number down on a piece of paper, passed it around the room, and every man in that room wrote their number on that paper and gave it to me. Then after the meeting, a bunch of people came up to me just to talk and give me advice. I ended up getting a sponsor right then and there.
I hit the ground running and dove into the AA program headfirst. Through working this program and going through the steps I’ve been able to stay clean as I wrote this article 21 months later. My life has become incredible over the last year and nine months. I now have a relationship with a God of my understanding. Through his grace, I am able to forgive myself a little more each day for the negligence I exercised that day in early November 2017. I know I can never make up for it, but AA gives me the platform to try to help the next addict or alcoholic in hopes that no one else has to lose their life to this disease.
I have genuine friends that want the best for me and want to see me succeed. People can count on me. People call me and ask for my advice. I sponsor men today and help to keep them sober. I have money in my bank account. I drive a BMW, I have a beautiful house and a lot of material things. Material things are great but in sobriety, I’ve found things that are even better- things that can’t be bought. Through this program, I got to meet the love of my life. We are getting married in a few months. She is also pregnant with our first child- a boy. I’m going to be somebody’s father and I couldn’t be more excited about it. My parents don’t have to wonder whether they’re going to get a call saying I’m dead. My family can count on me. People actually want me around today. Today I am happy, joyous, and free. I have a sense of peace in my heart and a clear mind to make good decisions. The people around me actually trust me and can count on me today.
Without the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and a relationship with God, none of this would be possible. I had no idea life could be this good. If you are reading this and are struggling, I highly suggest giving this program a shot. If you don’t like it the streets will always be there. If a junkie like me can find his peace and sobriety through this program so can you.
– Rob S
