Can you have any fun or enjoyment if you’re sober? 20 year old me would have said “No way! Watching football with no beer? Going to parties and not drinking that would suck!”. I’m sure many 20-year-olds have that same perspective. The thought of never drinking or getting high again was too much to comprehend. I knew I had a problem, but I assumed If I had to get sober my life was destined to be miserable and boring. That all changed when I was roughly 2 months sober.
Is Being Sober Fun and Worth It? YES! You can do almost any and all activities you enjoyed before you got sober just without drugs and alcohol. Part of the recovery process is learning how to have fun without being under the influence of a substance. You need to disassociate being drunk and high with having fun. Yes, it is true that drugs and alcohol “loosen” people up so they are more sociable, but being “loose” does not equal fun. That is a preconception our society has created. Being sober allows you to see, feel, hear, taste, and enjoy life as it is. Drugs and alcohol only create a false chemical high that actually inhibits your ability to feel.
Take a look back at many of those nights you had fun when you were drinking or drugging. Sure I can remember some fun times, but I also have many blank spots when I was in a black-out, as well as many lonely and miserable nights. Learning to have fun in sobriety is important because learning new activities can help keep your mind off your addiction. Not only do I have a ton of fun being sober, but my life is a lot more meaningful and filled with purpose and passion.
Here are some wonderful activities sobriety has to offer:
- Start that dream business you’ve always wanted to start
- Spend more quality time with friends and family
- Take the dogs to new park’s and on hike’s
- Build a tree fort in the backyard for your kids
- Start a new hobby you’ve always thought about
- Explore new activities to see what you like (skiing, jet skiing, hiking, kayaking, bingo, Etc.)
- Exercise – Get that dream body you have always imagined
- Start a date night with your wife/husband or significant other
- Volunteer at your favorite charity
- Help other’s struggling with addiction/alcoholism
- Take the money your saving from not buying drugs and alcohol and go on that dream vacation.
- Become more mindful (meditate, yoga, tai-chi)
- Join a softball or basketball league
- Coach your kid’s sports team
- Laugh at your friends and family when they make fools of themselves at the family reunion
- Be grateful when you wake up in the morning without your head feeling like it’s in a vice!
Embrace Change
If you’re sober or thinking about getting sober you probably drank and drugged like me, EXCESSIVE. The average person who has 1 or 2 glasses of wine a few nights a week would most likely not notice a drastic difference if they got sober. For all of us addicts and alcoholics, we didn’t just have a beer or smoke a joint, we drank anything and everything that was available and then drove to the store drunk to get more. We drank before, during, and after the party, and we didn’t stop until we passed out! So for us, it’s a major change to live life without being under the influence. Instead of looking at your new sober lifestyle as dull or boring, you have to look at all the new possibilities ahead of you.
Do You Ever Ask Yourself Any Of These Questions?
- What Would I Do For Fun?
- Will I Be Able To Socialize At Parties?
- What Will I Do To Unwind?
- What Will I Do On Friday and Saturday Nights?
- How Do I Meet A Girl/Guy If I Don’t Go Out To Bars and Clubs?
Any of all of these questions might be lingering in your head. Don’t worry it’s completely normal. Human brains have a tendency to try and forget bad things and remember the good. When I think back to my drinking and drugging days I always seem to remember the fun times, but seldom do I remember the hundreds of miserable nights drinking alone, getting arrested, destroying relationships, and everything else that comes from addiction. I love this saying a sober friend taught me:
“Remember the Worst Before The First”
Whenever I start to think that my old life of drinking and drugging was more fun, I remember the worst. Many of us addicts have a lot more “worsts” than we care to admit.
My drug use consisted of 10 minutes of pleasure when I first injected or snorted the drugs, followed by 5 hours and 50 minutes of misery, anxiety, loneliness, and pain until I did that next hit. Then the cycle repeated for years on end.
Flip The Script
Any doubts or fears you may have about getting sober need to be flipped. Younger people in sobriety usually have FOMO (fear of missing out). Don’t think what you will be missing by not going to a party drinking, think of how much more you can accomplish with a clear head. What did you really miss out on? That same drunk guy who always pukes in the wrong place, the same drunk girl who thinks she can sing every song as loud as she can, and she’s a terrible singer.
I bet you won’t miss the DWI’s, cops showing up, and worst of all the inevitable deaths that come from excessive partying. I feel like every year each graduating class has a few incidents everybody remembers that are seared into their head. For me it was a friend who crashed his car drunk and speeding, he died and his best friend in the passenger seat was badly injured.
- Instead of “What Would I Do For Fun?” – “What New Activities Can I Try That I’ve Always Wanted To Do?“
- Instead of “What Will I Do To Unwind?” – “I Will Have So Much More Time And Energy For My Passion and Family“
- Instead of “What Will I Do On Friday and Saturday Nights?”- “What Can I Do On Saturday and Sunday Mornings Without A Hangover?”
The Underlying Reason
People who drink or use drugs to excess almost always have an underlying reason for their consumption. Something, whether it is pain, low self-esteem, or past trauma is usually fueling the need to always escape reality and want to be high or drunk. The great part about working a 12-step type of program is getting to the root of why you were trying to escape reality. Every addict is different, I like and recommend a 12-step based program but your recovery program may be different and that’s fine.
Once I was able to pinpoint the “WHY” that was causing me to use so much, I was able to work on them. But even more important than working on them was the fact that I was able to face them and free myself of the burden. When I stopped holding all my issues inside and started talking about them, I learned to accept myself and others as we are. A huge burden was lifted off my shoulders. I was able to enjoy life so much more when I wasn’t weighted down by past resentments and pain. I didn’t have that insatiable need to constantly dull my emotions and feelings with some chemical.
Most rehab’s and 12-step programs work with you to find this root cause. I highly recommend working to find this underlying reason, when you decide to get sober, or even if you’ve been sober for a while but you aren’t working a program, it’s never too late. This one step in your recovery can have a huge impact on your daily attitude and enjoyment of life.
Sobriety Is Worth It, Your Life Is On The Line
Choosing to get sober is not easy and it takes hard work every single day. Addiction is classified as a disease. The core reason why people are addicts is being debated on a daily basis. The fact of the matter is I don’t concern myself with that, I’ll leave it up to the doctors. What I do know is that I’m an addict, I don’t use just one of anything. Addiction leads to one of 3 places: Jail’s, Institution’s, or a Coffin. For me the choice is simple; I can be high and bring pain, misery, loneliness, and destruction upon myself or be sober and have a fun rewarding, and by far way better life.